Nope. I Couldn’t Get Through It.
August 26, 2009
Stephen on how, deep down, women really want to spend two years of their lives working full-time while planning a multi-day party for two extended families to so she and her new husband can piss away an amount of money that might serve as half a down payment on a house in Southern California—or an entire downpayment somewhere else.
Yeah, well: the difference between Crowder and Freud? Humility. Freud had it. Crowder, not so much.
You know what they say: the marriage is for you. The wedding is for the family. So, delay gratification. Once you figure out what gratification might have looked like, you’ll be dead. Guys like Crowder will be telling you that you missed it decades ago, and it had to do with wearing a ridiculous dress and uncomfortable shoes, trying not to freak out when the limo driver was a half hour late and the florist got everything wrong, because this is what you’ve always wanted, right? Well, it’s what normal women want. Aren’t you normal? Even if you never knew what the rules were, and you were getting dictated to by relatives on one side and vendors on the other and the whole thing was a tense, disorienting experience that you were supposed to organize, pay for, and yet somehow enjoy at the same fucking time.
Because it’s so enjoyable, what with the everything going wrong and the two years of work and the uncomfortable shoes and the relatives having a big party that you paid for, for no reason in particular except that it was for them but somehow it was for you, too. Even though it wasn’t. Aren’t you normal?
Fuck, no.
Yeah, Stephen: that wedding-day deal was a real sport.
Come on, folks. It’s a swindle, and I can be good-natured about it until guys like Stephen come along to tell me that it wouldn’t have been a swindle if I’d somehow been enough of a girly-girl to really get off on it. Society shanghais people of both sexes into this ritual, and it’s not good or bad or anything really . . . but why add insult to injury by suggesting that the swindle must somehow be fulfilling to its victims in ways that they’d appreciate if they were just normal?
That’s in bad taste. Both weddings and marriages are hard work, and people should make the best trade-offs they can, but preferably without people like Crowder insulting them about it.
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August 26th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Nice post - very interesting…
COMMON CENTS
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com
ps. Link Exchange??
August 26th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Fancy Weddings and new Cars are not good investments.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I let my mom rope me into the Big Production Wedding. First, we decided the wedding should take place in California, where I was living (my folks were living in Utah). Then she insisted we had to inflate the number of invitees sixfold to accommodate all the numerous relatives who would be “so insulted” not to be invited. Then since I was on the scene and she wasn’t, I had to be the one to plan and execute the entire thing. I made all the arrangements, did all the shopping, even bought all the food. When the wedding was over, I couldn’t enjoy myself. I had to go back to make sure the cleanup got done so we didn’t lose the deposit.
After my Favorite Husband dies, I would consider marrying again, but I am NEVER having another wedding. If we want to have a 50th anniversary party, we’re all just going to a restaurant for dinner.