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BIBLES I LIKE:

This is my favoritest Bible—the one Jeff and Jack recommended. It's a yummy Protestant version. Awesome, awesome footnotes—but if you had wanted to read the Book of Tobit, you won't be happy with it. (I used quotes from the Book of Tobit at my wedding, partly because I liked them the most out of the suggested scriptures, and partly to amuse my best friend, the Christian-history professor, who at the time had a cat named Tobit.)

I also adore the Saint Joseph Edition of the New American Bible, which contains all the Catholic books and uses clear, lovely language. It's very accurate, and is likewise beautifully annotated. (I did notice that linguistic precision is placed ahead of taking sides on the few remaining Catholic-Protestant divisions of creed in the footnotes.)

I love the King James version of the Bible, and it is the only choice for English majors or social historians—anyone who need to read the version of scripture that has been alluded to in other works for the past several centuries. (It's also available in both Catholic and Protestant versions, for extra happenin'-ness.) However, to get at the original meanings one essentially has to translate a translation—and, like copying a copy, it's a perilous process. So it's way poetic, but a bit more work and there is an element of risk that one might misunderstand a phrase here and there so I'm not into it for home Bible study.

What most Bible-reading programs don't take into account is this fact, which everyone knows but no one admits out loud: it's okay to skim through Leviticus, and there are parts of the Torah—and the rest of the Old Testament, for that matter—that require a line-by-line read that you would be doing right now if you weren't spending too much time on Leviticus. Likewise, after the first time through it's cool to skim the Book of Revelation so you can spend more time in the gospels or the epistles.

One isn't supposed to say it—but there it is. So sue me.




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THE SAGA OF LIFE IN
THE R.H. HYMERS, JR., CULT:

• Dr. R.L. Hymers
• More on the R.L. Hymers Cult
• On Halloween, and Obsessive Truth-Telling
• The Best Deprogramming: Don't Program Yourself at All
• How Fun Is It To
Be Recruited Into Hymer's
Offbeat Church? Not Very.
• The "Hymers Warners" Group
• A Word About Libel: Memo to Bob Hymers
• Why Is Hymers's Website So Ugly?
• Losing My Virginity in the R.L. Hymers Cult
• Bob Hymers' History of Violence
• Mac Brunson: Another Member of the "Millstone" Club?
• One Fake Letter; One Real One
• Oh, Goody: An Email from R.L. Hymers, Jr.
[with a special guest appearance by R.L. Hymers III!]

• And... Dr. R.L. Hymers hides behind the skirts of a 25-year-old boy, who in turn threatens to report me to the FBI. (Or, maybe he really did. Too bad the Bureau can't get hold of my phone number, for, lo—I've been waiting to hear from said Feds for months, now.)

THE LITTLE MISS
ATTILA SAMPLER:

On Food:
• Dreadful Breakfast Cookies
On Men and Women:
• It's Rape If
You Don't Send
Me Money
• Women Talk Too Much;
I'll Date Dolphins
• Heterosexual
Men Are Kinky
• Hot Cars,
Hot Girls
On Animation:
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—the Commentary
• Freakazoid!
DVD
On Religion:
• Athiests and
Christians Talking
To Each Other
What else should be here? Anyone have any favorite posts? Let me know.

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Quote of the Month:
"I dash all of my fury, all of my love, all of my passion against the cross of Christ, and settle beneath their shards and fragments as they rain down upon me, and pass and bite and dissolve. And I pray, most particularly for the event or the person or the feeling that has roused my headstrong, foolish passion and lured me toward the illusion, and away from detachment, wherein is found humility and tranquility; wisdom and peace. And because I am no saint, because I am so flawed, all of that only brings me up to the ground-level. My evolution is still in such a primitive stage that I am merely eyes in mud, staring into heaven, unable to do much to lift myself; altogether one with the muck."
—The Anchoress




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Heh. I said,
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