Sorry, Cynthia.

by Little Miss Attila on May 9, 2009

Do I think most gay people would probably be happier if they were “out”? Probably.

Do I think that this decision should be the call of others whom they know? No. If it does not emerge from the individual’s conscience, that is that. Forcible outings are a violation of the person’s dignity.

Now, one needn’t respect the choices of a closeted gay man or lesbian. As a matter of fact, such people open themselves to blackmail, and they know it. it seems to me that it would be a terrible way to live.

And no one is under any obligation to provide an outlet for another’s hidden orientation.

But neither is an external outing a legitimate way to make any sort of political point. In most cases, it is a form of blackmail, a way of placing a gay/lesbian head on a pike outside the gate. Making an example of those whose speech or thought is Forbidden: “if you do not think or speak as we would like you to, this is what may befall you.”

Furthermore, these situations are always so easy to judge from the outside: when I was in high school, I thought Mary Austin was simply a beard to Freddie Mercury, but I found out years later that she was much more than that: despite being “as gay as a daffodil,” he also claimed Austin as his “common-law wife.” Mercury left his entire estate to Austin, after fixing up (for life, if I’m reading the exchange rate correctly) his boyfriend/husband, and several of his servants.

Who are we to judge, from the outside, the zigzagging of the human heart, or the odd plasticity of human sexuality?

No. I am with Gay Patriot. And with GoProud.

If the individual doesn’t “come out” for the right reasons, then maybe it wasn’t meant to happen at all in this lifetime.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Mom and Dad are fighting — Cynthia Yockey
May 12, 2009 at 9:53 pm
My civil dialogue with Gay Patriot on same-sex marriage and marriage equality for lesbians and gays — Cynthia Yockey
May 19, 2009 at 8:55 am

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian May 9, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Joy,

I have to clarify my post, which was about “Outrage,” a movie outing gay politicians and a Fox news anchor. I support outing gays and lesbians who are closeted AND use whatever position of power they are in to pass as straight by opposing equality for homosexuals. Both conditions have to be true.

It is mischievous and wrong to construe my position into one of outing lesbians and gays who are private citizens and not doing anything destructive to the cause of equality for lesbians and gays.

I really can see no justification for providing cover for our oppressors. After being outed, Sen. Barbara Mikulski stopped voting for bills that would deny equality to homosexuals. She is not openly lesbian, although here in Maryland it’s been no big secret, either, for about 30 years. I’m fine with that. But if she votes against equality for homosexuals in anything ever again, I definitely support a vigorous resumption of her outing.

As for gay and lesbian celebrities and sports stars, the only reason to out them is if they use their position of power to deny equality to homosexuals or if they speak against homosexuality publicly in order to pass as straight.

I do hope that more celebrities and sports stars who are past their prime come out, as Kelly McGillis and David Ogden Stiers did this past week, because people feel close to celebrities and by extension it makes us other homosexuals less strange to people who don’t know they know homosexuals.

I believe most closeted gays are deluding themselves that people don’t know they are gay. In my 20’s when I was feminine and beautiful and an ex-lesbian, I found that people figured out I was a lesbian no matter what. In a surprising number of cases, the people around closeted gays and lesbians are allowing them to think no one knows of their homosexuality, but pretty much everyone has them figured out. It’s something basic and people automatically and intuitively want to know and watch for clues and decide on their own.

The consideration of outing gets trickier with homosexuals who decide to make themselves straight, or pass as straight, by marrying someone of the opposite sex and having a family. I gather this deceives many straight people successfully. We don’t fall for it as much because they come into our community as sexual predators. For self-defense, we need to know of their double lives because it is unpleasant to be prey. However, there is no reason to out them, either, as long as they are not using being closeted to harm the homosexual community, or the cause of equal rights for homosexuals. The fact that their double lives make them prime targets for blackmail, however, doesn’t get them much sympathy from me. That’s how God says, “Don’t lead a double life!” Spurned lovers and spouses will do anything to hurt the person who hurt them — and outing hurts. Maybe there will be less of outing-as-revenge when homosexuals have full equality and therefore it has less power to hurt. I can’t think of anything else that would stop it. However, that is not the kind of outing that I was writing about. I don’t advocate that kind of outing, but I don’t see how opposing it helps, either. Since I take it you were defending private individuals who are not hurting the homosexual community, I think we are pretty much on the same page in that regard.

I do send love and hugs. Oh, and your readers can save hundreds of dollars a year on bread by buying the Breadman TR875 breadmaker in your Amazon ad. I have it and LOVE IT! Just make sure to pull the loaf pan out within 15 minutes of the bread finishing baking, so it pulls out easily.

Cynthia

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Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian May 9, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Oops, I wrote my reply thinking you were addressing my post about the movie “Outrage” .

Cynthia

Reply

Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian May 9, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Oops, again. I need to study up on my HTML. The period and my name are linked in my second comment to my “Outrage” post, at http://www.aconservativelesbian.com/aclblog/2009/04/24/because-sexual-orientation-is-not-private/.

(Blush.)

Cynthia

Reply

John May 9, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I was remembering that hypocrites perform a very important function: They give people who can’t be bothered with rebutting a point a pretext for rejecting it anyway.

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