Wow. Domesticity Was Such a Blast Before the Feminists–and that Betty Friedan Character–Ruined Paradise!

by Little Miss Attila on May 8, 2011

It was really a sort of utopia, if you want to know the truth . . .

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Pish Posh And Hogwash…We Love Our Moms…NOFW « That Mr. G Guy's Blog: May 8, 2011 at 5:44 pm

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Zorro May 8, 2011 at 9:13 am

“From 1975 to 1998 men married to full-time homemakers increased their contributions to housework as much, proportionally, as men whose wives were employed. And from 1965 to 1995, homemakers decreased their own housework hours more than did wives in dual-earner families. As a result, most stay-at-home mothers now have shorter total workweeks than their husbands. ”

And people wonder why men claim they’re being shafted by feminism.

I also like the “30 percent of women claimed their husbands did no housework at all.” Who was mowing the lawn at their houses? Because I’ve NEVER seen a woman mow a lawn, or change a tire, or climb a ladder and paint/stain a house.

It would appear that in the minds of these women, heavy lifting is not housework.

alwaysfiredup May 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm

“Because I’ve NEVER seen a woman mow a lawn, or change a tire, or climb a ladder and paint/stain a house.”

You are having a bit of a Pauline Kael moment, I believe. I do all of those things in our house as part of my current stay-at-home-mom role. DH is far too busy with paying work and not inclined to do work-on-housework when he gets a break. He is, however, very handy at cooking, laundry and dishes.

Little Miss Attila May 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm

I’m usually in charge of spiders and bugs, burying dead birds and the like, though when we lived in the hills my husband took over the duty of keeping rats out of our basement and garage–and I was just as happy to have him do it, for a number of reasons. So he took care of the rat carcasses, as well.

Cassandra May 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Because I’ve NEVER seen a woman mow a lawn, or change a tire, or climb a ladder and paint/stain a house.

I don’t know who “Zorro” hangs around with, but it doesn’t sound like any full time homemaker I know. It certainly doesn’t sound like my Mom (who mowed lawn and painted). Or my mother in law. Or any of my friends. Or any military wife.

During the 32 years I’ve been married, I have mowed the lawn more often than my husband, painted several houses (both inside and out), upholstered and refinished most of the furniture in our house, landscaped yards in 7 different states.

I guess it all depends on what qualities one chooses a wife, for.

Zorro May 11, 2011 at 10:39 pm

You forgot to mention how you always rebuild the carb on your husband’s MACK truck while he’s off having his nails done.

Cassandra May 12, 2011 at 7:18 am

1. He doesn’t have a Mack truck.

2. He doesn’t have his nails done.

You said “I’ve NEVER seen a woman mow a lawn, or change a tire, or climb a ladder and paint/stain a house.”

And I pointed out that I know lots of women (including myself) who have done these things. It’s all in who you choose to associate with. If you think the women you know are lazy, you might try cultivating a better class of friends.

Zorro May 13, 2011 at 1:14 am: The women I know aren’t lazy. They just don’t mow lawns, paint houses, or make up idiotic crap on the Internet on how they’re more handy around the house than Tim “The Toolman” Tailor, who has a much better sense of humor than you do.

Oh. And you have no sense of irony, either.

And I bet your friends smell, too.

PS: Should be “It’s all in with whom you choose to associate.”

Your grammar is as bad as your lies.
Zorro May 13, 2011 at 1:15 am: Your sentence should read “It’s all in with whom you choose to associate.”

Your grammar is as bad as your lies.
Little Miss Attila May 13, 2011 at 2:16 am: Well, Zorro, she’s certainly gotten under your skin. And you appear to be a bit clueless about whom you’re dealing with in Cassandra, since she’s been a presence among the milbloggers for years, and has a track record of being honest and above-board, along with a reputation for doing plenty of fundraising for military charities.

I would think very, very carefully about whether you want to accuse someone of lying who is well-known to a lot of prominent bloggers, and a friend to many. This is a woman who has lived alone for many months at a time because her husband was deployed overseas–protecting you and me. And yet she raised two boys into fine young men, and eventually went back to work herself, now contributing to the defense of this nation in a less-direct way than her Marine spouse.

So you are skating on very thin ice, here. My recommendation is that you retract the accusation.

Quickly.

Or you may find yourself banned not only here, but among a lot of the military bloggers and a lot of the female right-bloggers–many of whom are also military wives.

Your unwarranted, childish accusation is not okay with me–and it won’t be okay with at least a dozen other prominent bloggers I’ve got on speed-dial. So choose wisely.

alwaysfiredup May 8, 2011 at 10:19 am

I’m curious now about depression in men/husbands/fathers. If women were (imo, appropriately) unhappy to be pressured to stay home and care for husbands and/or children, were men similarly depressed by the expectation of working the same 8-to-5 job for 40 years? Both scenarios seem highly depressing to me.

Little Miss Attila May 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm: I think women are a bit more prone to depression.

Reply

Ric Locke May 8, 2011 at 10:22 am

Careful, Joy. You don’t want to descend to poncean paraphrase.

Ms. Coontz does have something of a point. As it happens, I had one grandmother in each of the camps she mentions at the end of the essay: One bitterly regretted the loss of “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” and allied notions; the other had risen to shift supervisor at an aircraft factory during the War, and was moderately acid concerning the forces that pushed her back to domesticity when the Boys Came Marching Home.

That last point is worth examining because it lies near the root of the effect, but I doubt we’ll see much of that in a newspaper whose last remaining supporters come from the Greatest Generation.

Linda May 8, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Let me attempt to summarize the points in that linked article. First: the modern-day, anti-feminist conservative types should realize that staying home is so awesome only b/c of the hard work of the very feminists we now deride.

Also, we should stop seeing the feminist movement as something that started in the 60s and raged in the 70s in order to destroy the nostalgic utopia of the 1940s-50s “Leave It To Beaver” era of family life. Because any idyllic concept of the mother’s role had long since blossomed and faded.

Fair enough.

But the thing is. I’ve never had an idealized view of any era’s family life. I’m not a historian of anything but my own personal history. My opinions on “feminism” are formed only by my own experiences.

In my experience, feminism dictates that career is equal or superior to motherhood. In my experience, feminism dictates that deferring to my husband as head of the household is “sexist.”

In my experience, the less I follow the current cultural norms, the happier I am.

That is all.

Cheers!

Little Miss Attila May 8, 2011 at 8:24 pm: “In my experience, feminism dictates that career is equal or superior to motherhood.”

I think that first phrase is fair, in terms of the old classic equity feminism mode of thinking–that they are equally valid choices. Though I was warned by my mother than women generally end up doing two jobs, one way or the other (which turned out to be true), and I was advised by a friend of the family that it was best for a woman to have a job that could be done part-time, so that it could be worked around family life. And I think that’s often reasonable as well.

“In my experience, feminism dictates that deferring to my husband as head of the household is ‘sexist.'”

Hm. I think it was supposed to be that your household arrangements are your own business, and it’s between you and your husband who has the final say–you, him, or taking turns. Certainly the notion that the man of the house has special leadership responsibilities is enjoying a renaissance, even among people who consider themselves “feminists.”

But I’m not the least bit surprised to hear that other people are judging the way you’ve structured your family–and that’s a sad thing. Human nature can be so ugly.

“In my experience, the less I follow the current cultural norms, the happier I am.”

You’re blessed to know that, then. You go, girl!

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