On the “Telephone” Dilemma

by Little Miss Attila on March 19, 2011

Stacy has joined in the conversation (with Ann Althouse, James Joyner, Dan Riehl, and The New York Times) about the changing etiquette regarding telephone conversations. He still likes calling people–and, in fact, if I want to be sure to reach him, I still call him because he doesn’t seem to always check his email. Most of my friends know that they have to do the same for me (with the exception of my elderly mother, whom I speak entirely in person/on the phone [when we are actually speaking], and my brother–who communicates with blood relatives only during his commute, so he can multitask).

My main client sends me notes to the effect that I should call him, or he’s trying to call me–but I turned the ringer off on my cell phone. That works, because I can go to the bathroom beforehand and grab some tea, or set aside a pile of clean laundry to fold while I’m talking. Essentially, he’s using an e-note as if it were a pager in those cases.

Yet overall I’ve never been enamored of the phone, which can be a real time-waster. And it’s a poor substitute for seeing someone face-to-face, though if there’s a delicate subject at hand, and one wants to hear or deliver some inflection, it’s superior to email. And one cannot easily have lunch with people who live in different cities. And it’s more fluid than email, so it’s better for interviews. But if you aren’t my mother, my brother, or my husband, shouldn’t you warn me ahead of time if you’re going to call? At least, so I can turn on the phone?

In a way, email is taking us back to a more civilized time wherein we were expected to send written notes to handle a lot of our social arrangements. That faded due to the superior speed of the telephone, but now that email is even faster than a phone call, there are a lot of reasons for deferring to the written word. At least, one can use it to set up a time before invading someone’s home via a telephone.

If I know in advance, after all, I can be sure to pick up. And then we have that human touch–and the best of both worlds.

Or, just have your blog link my blog; they can have sex in the hot tub, and work it all out.*

And, by the way: I still believe that every other household should have a landline (if you don’t have one, your next-door neighbors should). And you should own one old-fashioned corded phone that doesn’t rely on electricity to work. That way, if there’s an emergency and your area is cut off for a few days, you aren’t completely incommunicado.

* The original of the joke, for people who are my niece’s age, is “have your agent call my agent.” This morphed into “have your agent call my agent, and they can negotiate.” That in turn became “have your agent call my agent; they can have sex in the hot tub and work it out.”

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