Iowahawk Is on the Job!

by Little Miss Attila on April 14, 2009

Oh, yes.

The Mary Hamsher Moore Show

Theme / opening credits

Mary Hamsher Moore traipses whimsically through the streets of Washington with her macrame hat and bullhorn

Who can turn your stomach with her bile?
Who can hit a bullhorn switch, and suddenly bitch with a chipmunk smile?
Well it’s you girl and you should know it,
With each fire and every little dog lake you show it.
Hate is all around, no need to brew it,
It’s puffing up your cheeks, why don’t you chew it?
You’re gonna spew it af-ter all,
You’re gonna spew it af-ter all (doo-doo doo doo…. DOOT!)

Mary throws bullhorn into air, freeze frame

Scene I: Inside the studios of Nutroots 13 MediaMattersActionCastNewsCenter

MANAGING EDITOR LOU SOROS (on intercom): Mary! Mary Hamsher! My office, now.

MARY (entering office warily): YOU WANTED TO SEE ME MR. SOROS?

LOU: Put down the damn bullhorn! I can hear you, for crissakes!

MARY: I … I’m sorry Mr. Soros.

LOU: Whatever. Say Mary… you’re all over that internet thing. What do you know about these Tea Party protests?

MARY: I don’t know. I guess it’s just a bunch of retarded wingnuts whining or something. I don’t think they’re anything worth worrying about.

LOU: Nothing worth worrying about? There are 300 of those stupid protests scheduled for Tuesday! If they end up screwing up the next stimulus bill, I’m never going to short the currency markets. I need you to get to the bottom of this.

MARY: Bottom of it?

LOU: Come on Mary, don’t be naive. We both know the money and professional staff and layers of front organizations it takes to build an authentic grassroots movement. Geez, just look at the good cash I’ve wasted on this dump. There’s just gotta be some sort of conspiracy going on behind that Tea Party crap… like…

MARY: … like Fox News?

LOU: Now you’re thinking! I need you to get out there and spread that meme, and start up some counter protests.
MARY: … But why me?

LOU: Because you have those chipmunk cheeks. And because you got spunk.
MARY: Thank you Mr. Soros…

LOU: I hate spunk!
MARY: uh…

LOU: But you also have that bullhorn. Now get out there and produce!

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: