Or: statutory rape for fun and illicit profit.
Trig Palin has more class in his precious little pinkie than you have in your entire body and sick-fuck brain, Dave. But let us proceed:
5) Because Letterman’s never been funny: just smarmy.
4) Because sexually hostile jokes about adult women aren’t amusing, and they get less amusing when applied to minors, ya goddamned creep.
3) Because the intent of the media-entertainment complex is now, and always has been, to cow Sarah Palin into staying silent on political topics, and to humiliate her family to a point such that she will not seek further involvement in public life. Good luck with that, Davey. I don’t think you’re going to shut her up or stop her this way.
2) Because it would be embarrassingly easy to castrate a guy whose dick is the size of a pencil eraser. Dave’s wife probably has to work at not accidentally rubbing it off of him. Since her pregnancy is the result of a genetic anomaly—asexual reproduction—Letterman probably envies the Palins’ normal reproductive capabilities.
1) Because, like some editions of the Oxford English Dictionary—which have magnifying glasses in little drawers in the cardboard casings for the two-volume sets—Letterman actually carries a magnifying glass in his pocket so his wife can see his shriveled member. What’s the point in having it, anyway?—it’s easily missed, and it doesn’t really work.
Via Moe Lane, who’s got the video.
If nothing happens to Letterman or to Eminem over the next ten years I’ll be ready to give Todd and Track fucking medals. Though for all I know they’re just waiting until Sarah’s second term is over, and plan on being each other’s alibi. At this point, the Secret Service will probably not just vouch for both of ’em—if any of them are fathers or husbands or women, they’ll help.
UPDATE: Jim Treacher, posting at his own site and at Hot Air:
At first I thought “her daughter” referred to Bristol. Which would be a pretty crappy joke to make about somebody’s kid, no matter how much you disagree with the parents’ politics (or mere existence, apparently). But it’d still be fair game. After all, Bristol did what she did. That’s not to say she should be happy about over-the-hill comedians getting cheap laughs from her mistakes, but hey, that’s comedy.
The thing is, that joke isn’t about Bristol: Palin brought her 14-year-old daughter Willow to the Yankees game with her.
That’s right: A state governor went to a baseball game with her underage daughter, and a national talk show host made a joke about the girl being sexually assaulted by one of the players.
I realize I’m just an inbred backwoods moron who can’t abide by any criticism of Sarah Palin whatsoever, but is this really the precedent we want to set for our politicians and their families?
After all, Samson Obama, one of the president’s many half-brothers, isn’t allowed in the UK because he tried to assault a 13-year-old girl. Are we to impose the Letterman standard there? Is it okay to make a joke like this?
“How come the First Family never invites Uncle Samson to visit? Because whenever Sasha and Malia sit on his knee, it takes six Secret Service guys to pry them off!”
Or how about this?
“Joe Biden keeps saying he’s not really sure where all that stimulus money is going. In other news, Ashley Biden’s coke dealer just bought Luxembourg.”
Hey, I didn’t say they were good jokes. But are they really worse than what Letterman just got away with on national TV? If so, why?
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Letterman’s trying comedy again? I thought his writers left to do Obama policy.
I wonder if he tried to get McCain to read the list?
I’m surprised McCain didn’t do it. He probably wanted to be in Washington so he could vote for Waxman-Markey. The Waxman-Markey climate bill amounts to a $9 trillion tax that will reduce personal consumption by up to $2 trillion by mid-century, according to an analysis presented yesterday by the left-leaning Brookings Institution.
http://greenhellblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/brookingscatbro.pdf
I so love you.
In a brother/sister sense, of course..
(Thanks for being one of many calling out Letterman)
LoL are you effing kidding me? you are some crazy ass right wing extremist who has no sense of humor… Palin is saying that letterman joked about A rod raping her daughter… how far do you have to go to get some publicity i mean cmon http://yovia.com/blogs/lgrenville/2009/06/15/fire-david-letterman/
Go ahead, Tim, blame the victim. Letterman said “Sarah Palin went to a Yankees game yesterday– there was one awkward moment during the 7th-inning stretch–her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” Her daughter at the game, Willow, is 14, and sex with a 14-year old is statutory rape, even if consensual. Got it, fuckhead? You should be joining Palin in saying that. The next night he mentioned Willow by name and used her in an Eliot Spitzer joke. Didn’t he ask his crack staff to confirm Willow’s age? He said he did it on Monday for Bristol. He said on Wednesday that he would never do a sex joke about a 14-year old, but that’s exactly what he did on Tuesday. Are you that dense? We know that Dave probably visits the Left Side of the Web when he surfs, so are you guys the problem? Are you the reason he didn’t see any facts or truth, just personal attacks on Palin?
Go ahead give the Left’s take, Tim. You’ll wear out your welcome in record time.
People need to see just how far your thinking is outside the mainstream. How far do YOU have to go to defend the indefensible?
OK, Correction. Letterman didn’t mention Willow by name on Tuesday. I couldn’t find the quote because CBS has gotten all those YouTube videos taken down because of copyright violations. The quote is “The hardest part of her visit [to New York] was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter.”
Willow was the only daughter accompanying Sarah on her trip to New York, but Letterman never did mention her name that night.